You Can Wonderlic My Balls Capi-tan

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Alert the media! Tim Tebow scored!

...a 22 on the Wonderlic test (out of 50). Just kidding, the media already knows. The scores were leaked via Tweet by Edgar Thompson, a Dolphins beat writer with the Palm Beach Post, and now everybody knows. It seems to be a big deal for a people associated with the NFL Draft. Much was made of Vince Young scoring a 6 in 2005. Even last year, a red flag was raised when Percy Harvin scored a 12. Maybe that is how he chose his jersey number. Incidentally, both players managed to win Rookie of the Year honors. I guess it really only begs one question:

Does the Wonderlic test matter?

I personally don't think so. But in order to get a little perspective, I decided to sample the test. I found two different abbreviated versions of the test online. I scored a 39 on the version ESPN posted on Page 2 a few years ago. I also scored a 45 on this other one I found. Obviously, the results I got were not official in any capacity, or even valid. Nonetheless, it is cool to know that I would make a great NFL player. I mean, that is what my scores mean, right?

The Wonderlic test is given to millions of job applicants each year in professions outside of professional sports. It aims to quantify general mental ability, which is in a sense, the ability to learn. 20 is the average score, which indicates an IQ of 100. The average score for a chemist is 32, and 15 for a warehouse worker (21 for the average NFL player). That makes sense. Chemists are required to be more educated than warehouse workers to perform the functions of their given occupations. I understand why employers test applicants. Intelligence is a good indicator of occupational success in many fields, but mainly because physical attributes play such a small role in most professions. So why does the NFL administer the Wonderlic test when the main criteria for success is physical ability?

Although they have found some trends regarding players positions as they relate to scores, there has been no significant link between a high score and a successful career, or vice versa. Just for fun, here are the average scores by position:

(note: If I was Jemelle Hill, I would probably decry the racism inherent in the testing, but that is a different conversation altogether.) 

Offensive Tackle: 26

Center: 25 

Quarterback: 24

Guard: 23

Tight end: 22

Safety: 19

Middle Linebacker: 19

Cornerback: 18

Wide Reciever: 17

Fullback: 17

Runningback: 16

If there was a position that required a higher Wonderlic score I imagine it would be quarterback. They are required to read defenses, make decisions quickly and adjust on the fly. It is unquestionably the most involved position to play in any sport. Here are some notable scores by quarterbacks:

Ryan Fitzpatrick: 48- Harvard graduate. Finished in 9 minutes. Career backup.

Alex Smith: 40- Biggest QB bust of the decade. 

Eli Manning: 39- Can also lick Oreos faster than his big brother can. 

Matt Leinart: 35- Impressive, considering he was probably drunk.

Tom Brady: 33- *sigh* I guess thats why New England drafted him.

John Beck: 30- *sigh* I guess that's why Miami drafted him.

Brady Quinn: 29- May be a bust, but too early still.

Drew Brees: 28- Best QB in the league. Solid score

Peyton Manning: 28- Best QB in the league. Solid score.

Ryan Leaf: 27- I thought he was dumb. Nope. Just crazy.

Brett Favre: 22- Let's hope Tebow can mimic his career too.

Vince Young: 16- But he got a 6 on his first try. No joke.

Dan Marino: 15- More of a doer, than a thinker.

Terry Bradshaw: 15- "Couldn't spell C-A-T if you spotted him the C and T."

Donovan McNabb: 14- Yet he still manages to avoid INTs.

Jeff George: 10- "A score of 10 is literacy." -C. Wonderlic Jr.

Chris Leak: 8- answered 8 of 12 questions correctly then said "Fuck this. I'm out."

Obviously if Wonderlic scores were indicators of NFL success, Fitzpatrick and Smith would replace Favre and Marino in the Hall of Fame. But as you can plainly see, Wonderlic scores are no better of a predictor of NFL success than the 40-yard dash (Jerry Rice ran a 4.71, Emmitt Smith ran a 4.8). In my estimation, only 10% of the information gathered from all the the cone drills, sprint drills, and aptitude tests actually help measure future success. The reason scouts force players to go through all of the rigmarole is so in the end when the players that they drafted fail, scouts can use these scores as a crutch. When they draft a bust, nobody can say they didn't do their due diligence. 

This year's marquee quarterbacks:

Sam Bradford: 36

Colt McCoy: 25

Jimmy Clausen: 23

Tim Tebow: 22

Let's see how this plays out.

*****

Fun Wonderlic Fact: Frank Gore (who graduated from my high school a year ahead of me) scored a 6. He's Dyslexic. Literally. No pun intended. He took a verbal test later on and scored higher. (That is only the second time in my life when I actually meant it when I said "no pun intended." Practically every time someone says "no pun intended" they do so because they went out of their way to make a pun. Fuckers.)

Before you go, watch this remembering these words Todd McShay uttered less than a month ago: "[Tebow] will not make it in the NFL; I'm sure of it."

The Draft

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It seems that everybody and their mothers are dissecting, analyzing, and prognosticating Tim Tebow's draft prospects. Enough people have put their two cents in that Timmy could fill his abortion jar 100 times over. But I digress. They have a million questions about Tebow, and are trying desperately to answer them before the end of the month. Will he be able to fix his throwing motion? Is he going to be another Alex Smith? Is he going to play tight end? With all the question marks surrounding him, it's a wonder how he managed to help the Gators win 48 games (35 as a starter), win two BCS National Titles, and capture a Heisman Trophy. With all that success, he has become a polarizing figure. It is safe to say that there has never been a more captivating college athlete. I guess that explains all the questions.

The NFL has become a machine. It is America's most popular sport, and far and away its most successful professional league. With the help of ESPN (and assholes like me who never change the channel), The NFL has become a year-round event. The day after the Super Bowl, pundits were already ranking teams for 2010, evaluating off-season personnel needs*, and speculating on free agent signings. The crown jewel for the NFL off-season is The Draft. With the draft comes the pre-draft meat market some refer to as "The NFL Combine."

* I realize that this image is not relevant in any way, but I stumbled upon it while Googling "2010 NFL Draft." She is hot. That is enough reason for me.

The combine takes place every spring about a month before the draft. The point of it is to quantify the things we think we know, thus guaranteeing that the Raiders will draft a big, strong, fast player who is incapable of actually playing football. My favorite part about the combine is how "experts" use the results of the drills to reinforce what they previously believed, or refute what they thought they knew after watching a player week in and week out on the field every Saturday for four years. It is a fantastic waste of money. But then again, it is the NFL, and they print their own money there. (You like that Brady Dollar? I just did that myself on the fly. I'm a fucking internet stallion. Boom!). The thing that gets me about the draft is that I can't think of a situation in the real world where past accomplishments are thrown out the window, and scored from completely unrelated tasks are the standard. How is this line of thinking valid, or acceptable?

Interviewer: "...Let's look at your work experience. It says here you were a high school janit-

Wannabe Employee: "Custodian...I was a custodian."

Interviewer: "Ok. Custodian. And you were the assistant to the regional manager at McDonald's."

Wannabe Employee:   "Something like that."

Interviewer: "Thanks for your interest. I think I have seen enough."

Wannabe Employee: "Check me out. I can juggle."

Interviewer: "...enough to know that you are management material. Welcome to the company!"

Now here is Tim Tebow. All he has done the last four years is give everything he has for Gator Nation. He has gotten excellent (at times historic) results. Anyone you ask gives glowing reports about Tebow the man, the teammate, the competitor, and the winner. Then you have Todd McShay's assessment: "[Tebow] will not make it in the NFL; I'm sure of it." I feel it necessary to point out that McShay also gave a glowing endorsement of JaMarcus Russell. Idiot.

Unfortunately for Tebow, the NFL is full of sheep, and they will continue banking on Ryan Leafs and pass up players like Tebow, that don't fit the NFL mold because that is just the way things are done. I hope Tebow steps right in, lights up the league and wins multiple Super Bowls. Partly because I am a Gator fan, but mostly because I hate everybody. And everybody includes all those "experts" out there who don't know shit, yet think their word is absolute truth. 

S.O.S.

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I spend a majority of my down time (aka, workday) browsing sports websites and blogs for my own edification. In doing so, I have come across a great many haters out there. As is usually the case, the defending national champs, are the target of most of the bile spewn about on message boards. It just so happens that this team happens to be my Florida Gators. People get tired of all the coverage directed at UF and Tebow. I fully understand that. The Champs always get way more than their fair share of ESPN coverage. But one thing that gets tiresome is when people talk crap without knowing a damn thing. My beef: strength of schedule.

The talk this pre-season was that coming off of last year's grueling championship run, The Gators would coast through their relatively easy schedule to another BCS title. They pointed to the fact that they scheduled Charleston Southern, Troy, and FIU out of conference. Critics whined and complained that The Gators "never play anybody" and "should be embarrassed for scheduling those teams." I will not sit here and argue that the Gator's out of conference opponents are world beaters. In fact, they aren't even very good at all, but that isn't the point. You have to look at the strength of schedule as a whole. And in the last 10 years, nobody has had a played a more challenging schedule than the Gators have.

Strength of Schedule For the 10 Most Recent BCS National Champions (Sagarin Rankings)

For clarity's sake, here is a brief glossary:

The number next to the year is the schedule ranking on a scale of 1-119 (1 = most difficult, 119 = least difficult). "Top 25" is the number of seasons that team's schedule ranked among the 25 most difficult. "Top 10" is the number of seasons that team's schedule ranked among the 10 most difficult. "Title Year" is the team's schedule ranking the year they won the BCS Championship.

As you can plainly see, over the last ten years, Florida has played a tougher schedule than any of the other BCS Title winners. Moreover, when winning said BCS Titles, UF played navigated the toughest road there. I was a bit surprised and impressed by USC's schedule strength. The fact that they play tough games is probably a good indicator of why the Trojans usually perform well in big games. The same holds true for the Gators. Being challenged week in and week out teaches you how to take a punch and not lose your composure.

So far this season, The Gators have played the 39th ranked schedule. With a match-up against #2 Alabama (27 SOS) on the horizon, the SOS will certainly go up for both teams. #3 Texas (49 SOS) is in the fortunate position of playing the Big 12 "Title Game" against a 3-loss Nebreaska team that boasts an offense that is anemic at best. Nothing like cake walking into the championship game. Ohio State was allowed to do that in '06 and '07, and look how it worked out for them. In case you forgot, OSU got pasted by UF and LSU; 41-14, and 38-24 respectively.

[Off topic, but interesting nonetheless- when looking up the final score of the '07 BCS Championship game (which was not as close as the score indicated as OSU scored garbage points at the end), I stumbled across Ohio State's all-time bowl record. They have never beaten an SEC team in a bowl game, going 0-8 against 7 different teams. I'm just saying.]

With all the hate thrown the way of the Gators this year, it is worth pointing out that if they are to win a second consecutive title, they will have to knock off two undefeated #2 teams in back-to-back games. That is as tough a task as any. If anyone can do it, the Gators can. Less than 365 days ago, they were preparing for the first of 2 consecutive games against the #1 team in the nation. "But to me, it seems quite clear. That it's all just a little bit of history repeating."

Wardrobe Malfunction (Or So I Thought)

On Saturday, The Gators will face the Seminoles in The Swamp in their last regular season game of the 2009 campaign. A win will allow Florida to accomplish something they never have before. It would be the first time ever that they completed the regular season with no losses or ties. That would be a nice accomplishment to add to Florida's record book. Unfortunately, because of the fact that FSU (6-5) just barely crossed the threshold for bowl eligibility, this is the least anticipated season finale in my lifetime. ESPN doesn't agree, however, as they have sent College Gameday to set up camp outside The Swamp. Personally, I feel that there are more competitive match-ups on the docket, namely Miami @ USF. Nonetheless, Corso and co. will be in town, going through the motions of wearing Albert's head for the world to see. Some might argue that ESPN chose Gainesville because they adore Tebow, and in light of the absence of any real marquee match-ups, they might as well feature the top-ranked (and currently undefeated) defending National Champs. That is all fine and good, but I suspect there is more at work than just that.

Sponsorship.

Earlier this season, Nike unveiled their new line of football gear called Nike Pro Combat. "Ten storied programs" were chosen to wear their "game-changing uniforms." Taking the template of the Oregon Ducks' current uniforms, and making slight stylistic tweaks, Phil Knight (Nike CEO) has fashioned uniforms to be worn by the Gators in their home finale. When I first heard the news, I rolled my eyes. Having seen what Phil Knight's fashion sense can do to the credibility of a football program, I feared the worst. Fortunately, the uniforms created for Florida are not half bad. In-fact, I actually kinda like them. Admittedly, I hated them at first. But, the more I looked them, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this would be a nice change of pace, especially for an SEC school. Although Florida is a bit ahead of the curve, the SEC as a whole is known for wearing boring uniforms in the archaic styles of their 1950's predecessors. FSU's helmet design screams "we stab and hurt people (or at least we used to)", and UF's helmet design meekly whispers "we remember how to write in cursive...except for those damn 'Gs'". It will be nice to see a uniform that is a bit more aggressive, and to that point, progressive in the SEC.

Having ESPN's Gameday brodcast the game which features two of the ten "Pro Combat" teams is good press. Gameday broadcast from Fort Worth earlier this year. As luck would have it, TCU unveiled their Pro Combat uniforms that day against Utah. The Horned Frogs won 55-28. I guess there is no conspiracy to cry foul about, but I am just not a big fan of promotions like this. "We are the all-powerful Nike. As a show of our magnanimity, we will bestow upon a selected few, garments worn by Zeus himself (when he played back-up tight end on Olympus High's J.V. squad. He quit football to concentrate solely on baseball. It was a tough decision for him, because he liked football more, but was better at baseball, and thus got more playing time)." Nonetheless, The Gators' inclusion in this campaign cements their place as one of the elite commercial pillars in college athletics. And I am sure the athletic department will be making a few bucks off this, so that is nice.

As you may remember, in 2007, Nike had a similar marketing campaign wherein Arizona, Florida, Ohio State, and Syracuse were selected to wear prototype uniforms. It worked out better than Nike could have possibly hoped, as both Florida and Ohio State wore those jumpsuits all the way to the Championship Game, with The Gators besting the Buckeyes for their second national title in as many years. Here is to hoping that the Gators' football counterparts can walk a similar road to repetition.