Excessive Douchebaggery

~
I was listening to the radio and I found myself listening to the local pop station. No biggie, there are songs on that station catchy enough to tolerate. Some random-ass dime-a-dozen pop song by a random artist featuring Kanye West comes on. "Fuck this shit," I said as I changed the channel. Unfortunately, I turned it to another station with another song featuring that no talent piece of shit. Radio off. Then I went off. "Fuck that guy. That douche fuck can't rhyme for shit and the worst part of it is that he thinks he is not the most giant douchebag to ever walk the planet. I hate that motherfucker more than I have ever hated anybody ever." I decided it would be cathartic for me to write about it. Without further ado, my first top ten list on this blog:

Top Ten People Who Are Less of a Douchebag Than Kanye West:

1. Jesus - Simple carpenter. Died for our sins and did other stuff good too. Unlike Kanye West, he actually IS God's gift to mankind.

2. Abraham Lincoln - One of the best presidents ever. This one did care "about black people." Enough to free the slaves. No big deal.

3. Dr Martin Luther King Jr. - Led the American civil rights movement. What has Kanye done for black people besides embarrass them every chance he gets?

4. Justin Timberlake - Good singing voice? Check. Charismatic personality? Check. Brought sexy back? Check. Giant piece of shit that can't sing, can't rhyme, and can't come up with his own beats? Leave that one to Mr West.

5. Motormouth - He is the guy who made all those fun sound effects in Police Academy and Spaceballs. With all the stupid voice effects Kanye uses, you would think this guy is his idol.

6 Dwayne Wayne - Kanye wasn't the first guy to wear a pair of stupid looking glasses. At least Dwayne had the style sense to rock a Cosby sweater along with them.

7. Alec Baldwin - If you are going to go on a drunken tirade and make a young girl cry, make sure that is not your claim to fame. At least Alec hosted SNL 14 times.

8. Archie Bunker - In the words of Archie, "If that ain't the black calling the kettle pot." America's favorite racist v. America's least favorite racist. Point goes to Archie Bunker.

9. Shooter McGavin - He took Grandma's house, ruined Happy's "happy place", and put out a hit on Happy. At least he understands the basic concept of a rhyme. Hopefully he will one day share that knowledge with Kanye.

10. My New Haircut Guy - They are both walking pieces of douchebagging shit. Only one has the decency to be a fictional character. I'll take Jager Bombs (a Gainesville favorite) over Hennessey (rap's biggest cliche').

I will leave you with inspirational words from the one and only (thanks god there is only one) Kanye West:

"I am God's vessel. But My greatest pain in life is that  I will never be able to see myself perform live."

Piece of shit.