The Draft

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It seems that everybody and their mothers are dissecting, analyzing, and prognosticating Tim Tebow's draft prospects. Enough people have put their two cents in that Timmy could fill his abortion jar 100 times over. But I digress. They have a million questions about Tebow, and are trying desperately to answer them before the end of the month. Will he be able to fix his throwing motion? Is he going to be another Alex Smith? Is he going to play tight end? With all the question marks surrounding him, it's a wonder how he managed to help the Gators win 48 games (35 as a starter), win two BCS National Titles, and capture a Heisman Trophy. With all that success, he has become a polarizing figure. It is safe to say that there has never been a more captivating college athlete. I guess that explains all the questions.

The NFL has become a machine. It is America's most popular sport, and far and away its most successful professional league. With the help of ESPN (and assholes like me who never change the channel), The NFL has become a year-round event. The day after the Super Bowl, pundits were already ranking teams for 2010, evaluating off-season personnel needs*, and speculating on free agent signings. The crown jewel for the NFL off-season is The Draft. With the draft comes the pre-draft meat market some refer to as "The NFL Combine."

* I realize that this image is not relevant in any way, but I stumbled upon it while Googling "2010 NFL Draft." She is hot. That is enough reason for me.

The combine takes place every spring about a month before the draft. The point of it is to quantify the things we think we know, thus guaranteeing that the Raiders will draft a big, strong, fast player who is incapable of actually playing football. My favorite part about the combine is how "experts" use the results of the drills to reinforce what they previously believed, or refute what they thought they knew after watching a player week in and week out on the field every Saturday for four years. It is a fantastic waste of money. But then again, it is the NFL, and they print their own money there. (You like that Brady Dollar? I just did that myself on the fly. I'm a fucking internet stallion. Boom!). The thing that gets me about the draft is that I can't think of a situation in the real world where past accomplishments are thrown out the window, and scored from completely unrelated tasks are the standard. How is this line of thinking valid, or acceptable?

Interviewer: "...Let's look at your work experience. It says here you were a high school janit-

Wannabe Employee: "Custodian...I was a custodian."

Interviewer: "Ok. Custodian. And you were the assistant to the regional manager at McDonald's."

Wannabe Employee:   "Something like that."

Interviewer: "Thanks for your interest. I think I have seen enough."

Wannabe Employee: "Check me out. I can juggle."

Interviewer: "...enough to know that you are management material. Welcome to the company!"

Now here is Tim Tebow. All he has done the last four years is give everything he has for Gator Nation. He has gotten excellent (at times historic) results. Anyone you ask gives glowing reports about Tebow the man, the teammate, the competitor, and the winner. Then you have Todd McShay's assessment: "[Tebow] will not make it in the NFL; I'm sure of it." I feel it necessary to point out that McShay also gave a glowing endorsement of JaMarcus Russell. Idiot.

Unfortunately for Tebow, the NFL is full of sheep, and they will continue banking on Ryan Leafs and pass up players like Tebow, that don't fit the NFL mold because that is just the way things are done. I hope Tebow steps right in, lights up the league and wins multiple Super Bowls. Partly because I am a Gator fan, but mostly because I hate everybody. And everybody includes all those "experts" out there who don't know shit, yet think their word is absolute truth.