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Some of the great discoveries of the modern world happened on accident; Velcro, Viagra, and even abortions. Isn't serendipity grand? Sometimes opportunity knocks ever so lightly that it takes a special kind of pioneer to heed the call to greatness, and recognize the chance they have been presented. Around this time some four years ago, a motley crew consisting of alcoholics, vagrants, thieves, and a few Ocala residents heeded that call when they stumbled upon one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind...
Since my memory of how it all went down is a bit unclear, I have asked Suggs to do the honors.
It was early one Saturday morning, December 10, 2005 to be exact and Bennigan's was having its yearly staff meeting. I woke up early and was still smashed from the night before. I decided the obvious choice was to begin my day with a few vodka shots. So I did a few while I waited for Luke Bessey to pick me up to give me a ride to the meeting. I greeted his Silly ass with a shot of well vodka. We proceeded to the meeting where I met up with among other people Nikki and Adam. While Roby was being given positions like "Marketing Manager" (and yes it requires "quotes" as it was a make believe position that afforded Roby the luxury of watching movies, banging his girlfriend, and sleeping, all while making $10 an hour. Kevin is such a fucking idiot.), Nikki, Adam, and I were drinking through the meeting. The three of us then opened the restaurant along with Craig on day-bar and Louise was "Key" (another bogus position, but then again, what fun would it be working there if the inmates weren't running the asylum) . Unfortunately for Louise, she spent the entire shift throwing up. Fortunately for us, Louise spent the entire shift throwing up, leaving us free to drink through said shift with no repercussions (True story: when typing this, I had to ask how to spell "repercussions" because I have never used that word before). As our shift came to a close, I was drunk and remarked that I had no intention of losing that feeling, and we should continue drinking together until a.) our livers give out, b.) we run out of money, or c.) Kash and Karry runs out of beer. The decision was made to get a keg. I had to work a double, so Adam and Nikki bought the keg. After the night shift I met them at Adam's apartment and we had over most of the Bennigans staff as well as enough others to make it a good-sized crowd.
The next day I was working a night shift when Nikki and Adam came into the restaurant to see if I was ready to start drinking. As he finished his sentence, Adam said "I should have said continue drinking" as he saw my flask (aka plastic Propel bottle) in my right hand. They waited for me to get off work and then we went and purchased another keg and headed to Nikki's house for night #2. Monday morning me and Adam had to open the restaurant. Nikki called at 11 am to let me know that she was finishing the keg from the night before and trying to get her roommate to drink it with her. Meanwhile, the computers crashed so we had to manually order everything and write checks with no way to verify anything other than some alcoholic crackhead cooks... needless to say, we made a fuck ton of money and drank an equally large amount of free liquor. After work, we went over to Nikki's house to help her polish off the the keg, we looked around and decided that something was missing. So we went and got another keg. That's how day # 3 started.
And so the legend of keg week began. Keg week continued each night for the rest of the week. I like to think it would have continued for life, but people had to go home for the holidays. It was never a plan that first week. Each night we just got together and decided to get another keg. There was always cause for it, and the premise was simple. Get a keg, and everyone pitches in $5 for a cup. Sometimes we collected enough to buy a bottle too, and other times we didn't cover the cost to the keg. It was awesome either way. The party was at a different location each night. Whoever had the party at their house drank for free that night. It was a great time. Mike, Lexy V, John Webb, Chris Z, Anthony, Patricia, Louise, Dave, Sara, Jenna, John Vincent, Donaldo, Sandy, Nunez, Jodi, Danny, Craig, and Henkel (and some of his henchmen) rounded out the bunch.
Keg Week changed all of our lives, Adam fell in love with Patricia and started dating her a week after Keg Week- they're married now. Nikki and I became roommates after Keg Week and are still best friends. I continued keg week the following year and then the next year Roby and Zupo took it up with me and the three of us carried the tradition on with our old friends as well as the new ones we made at various shitty restaurants around town. Sadly, after the third year, like a supernova, Keg Week faded out. It lives on however, in our heart, minds, and deteriorated livers. Someday, somewhere, somebody is going to revive the tradition of Keg Week. I just hope I am there to see it.
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